Embittered

Your face still lingers in my mind, your scent, your touch, your voice, your lips are still stuck somewhere in my brain. I still long for those. There are times that I subconsciously imagine those nights that we were together, full of passion, emotion, caress, hopes and promises; but as my mind shifts to reality, those things turn into thorns that slowly deepening in my heart. Those nights were over, and the saddest part is, I can’t get over you. I wanted to hate you but I can’t. I wanted to smile whenever I think of you but instead, I weep.

Fate has a bizarrely sadistic sense of humor. Our paths crossed once more. When I saw you I felt a sudden pain in my soul, as if I died that moment. I wanted to walk away but my legs are numb, then you saw me and walked towards me, smiling and waving. You are fu*king okay, and your aura projected strongly happy energy. You talked to me as if we were long time friends who met again after a decade, but for me, I can’t hide my emotions. As I talked, my voice trembled and my heart beats harder and faster than usual, as if it would burst out of my chest. A rueful experience that I wish I didn’t have.

I wanted to smile but tears flowed from my eyes. I wanted to show you that I’m okay but I can’t. I wanted to hug you but I’m badly hurt. I missed you but I wish I didn’t see you. I hate you but I love you more.

For the past months I was hoaxing with myself. Trying to act like I’m okay, that I enjoy the freedom that you granted me. I’m happy because I’m free but deep inside, my heart is bleeding, because the truth is when you set me free I refused to let go, I’m still embracing the chain that was once locked in my legs. I don’t want to let go even if it’s starting to kill me emotionally.

I don’t know, I think I’m starting to like being hurt by your memories, enjoying the feeling of fusion of hate and love. A masochist, I’m starting to be and it’s because of your broken promises, promises that I know I shouldn’t believe on, but you were so damn good at it. I was like a kid who believed in the surreal world that you created for me. A world full of lies but I chose to stay.

Thank you for giving me a chance to experience the bitter-sweet feeling of love and for teaching me to embrace pain, but you forgot one important thing…

…teaching me how to escape from this melancholy.

Dream date

"Every body has their dream date, It should be in a perfect place, should be with the right person, the perfect time, etc. but what would your dream date be?"

Well what exactly in my mind? I have dated a few but none of them fulfilled my dream date. Most of the dates I had was in the mall doing the same old boring stuffs, movies, coffee shops, dining and after that what comes next? hmmmmmm, lets say that I had learned my lessons "don't do sex on your first date". If you wanted the dating stage to step up to the next level, don't include it in your "things to do list", because it will just extinguish the excitement, and the interest of seeing the person again. Well unless, if your main objective is to be nailed or to nail someone.

My dream date would be in a place where you could have an intellectual masturbation, where in you would have a chance to know the person deeper,(wow hopeless romantic) at the same time an enjoyable place, and for me, the Zoo would be perfect( hehehehe) . I never been there before, so the date would be fun and memorable. A theme park would be perfect as well or in the ocean park, but of course if it's okay with my date.

If you had dated me and I asked you to watch a movie or for a coffee that means I just wanted a company...he he he, I'm sorry....

How about you what would your dream date be?

see yah

Neithan got Talent!

Hey guys this is my friend and my mentor, he got wonderful voice just sharing it. Have time to listen to it. He's great!





Told you...He's GREAT. It made me ask my self When will I fall in love?